A Love Maturity Model (4 Levels of Love)

Sing it with me! “How deep is your love? I really mean to learn.” – Bee Gees.

Great, let’s evaluate your love maturity. I’ll show you the four levels of love so you can quickly evaluate your love mindset.

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The 4 Levels of Love

The 1st love maturity level is I love you more when you do and be more of what I want.   This is a negotiated form of love.  In this type of love, there are conditions for giving love.

The 2nd love maturity level is I love you for who you are.   This is a marriage form of love.  Especially the early years of a relationship.  In this image, you can see the two are similar in their shoe choices.  It’s easy to love someone when their similar.

The 3rd love maturity level is I love you for who you are and for who you aren’t.   This is loving someone wholeheartedly.  This type of love has no conditions, no reservations.  You’ve let go of the wounds of the past and love freely in the present.

The 4th and final love maturity level is I love love.   This is spiritual love.  You’re in love with love.  You become love.  You see everyone as deserving of love.  You let go of everything you think you know about the person.  You wake up in the morning and look at the person next to you.  You see them without your stories of who they are and who they aren’t.  It’s love without attachment; it’s love without fear that one day we’ll lose that person.  And for the giver and the receiver, it bring inner peace.

I’ve only known a few people in my life that are like this.  They are people at total ease.

Some of those people have said to me, we’re spiritual beings having a human experience which is why I chose this image for the 4th level.

Which maturity level are you at with loving your spouse, your child or your boss?  And what would you want it to be?

Another Perspective

So, I talked about love for others.  There’s also another perspective.  How you love yourself.  This is the MOST important perspective.

I was at level 3 love for myself… until I experienced menopause.  I gained 25 pounds in a year.  And in a blink of an eye, I realized I was at level 1 love for myself.  Why couldn’t my body do and be more of what I wanted?

But by simply being aware of my love maturity, I could intentionally move to a new level.

I wonder, how are you loving yourself?  And could you love yourself enough to allow it to go up from there?

I like to end with this quote since I believe this aligns well with the 4th level of love maturity.

Love is what we’re born with.  Fear is what we learn.  The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and the acceptance of love.

Marianne Williamson

Show yourself some grace, acceptance and love.

Sources: Vance Caesar

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